Excerpts (with permission) from an email sent to Michele by a teacher who graduated from the 2019 EMBER cohort (some small edits made for clarity and emphasis added)
I finally finished my Masters in Social Work in 2021 and have made an effort to tailor my work and learning to meet the needs of individuals who have experienced developmental and complex trauma.
Last week I had a client who shared a challenging experience and in reflecting on my response, I started to be curious as to where I learned to do things a bit differently. I racked my brain. It was not my [social work] schooling or even my trauma class in school. It was not even my EMDR training or other trauma trainings I have had. Though I have not taught an official EMBER yoga class in some time, I realized it was during my time in EMBER that I learned these things and use them every day that I work. I suppose I just think of them as the simple things now.
I think about the environment I am in and catch myself explaining little things to clients that help them get to know their space and pick up on things that might look scary.
I make sure to offer a variety of choices and honor a client's choice to do something completely different or not do anything at all. Agency is important.
I look for cues that sympathetic NS is revved up and utilize a lot of grounding. It is the first thing I teach my clients. I share with them a couple different ways to ground and say "sometimes, I find it easiest to just feel my feet".
I introduce discomfort very gradually with a lot of grounding, and lots of choice.
I encourage them to honor their needs and if the beauty arises when a client honors their needs, I celebrate that and ask them to notice what they did for themself and how this feels in their body and emotionally (that last part is how I incorporate it therapeutically and help someone utilize it as a resource but the building blocks I learned in EMBER) .
I let my clients know the steps or what we are doing if I am engaging them in some new experience and invite questions.
I understand and am okay with clients not feeling safe and endeavor to see and hear them and offer small comforts as the need arises. I never tell my clients they are safe. I know that feeling safe takes time and that maybe this moment just "doesn't suck quite so bad". There are considerations I make when I am doing groups with people to reduce the potential for triggers.
While I was not specifically taught what I do in EMBER in a clinical therapy group, considering triggers helps me reduce a train crash of SNS arousal. I do remember you sharing that no matter how hard we try, people will be triggered. While there are many things I do therapeutically to handle this, I often go back to things I learned in EMBER that can help calm the nervous system. While I endeavor to be gentle with the nervous system at times, I have unintentionally brought up something that was triggering. I tend to be hard on myself and beat myself up but your words provided me with comfort. "people will be triggered". I remembered these specific words a couple months ago. Instead of apologizing profusely and beating myself up mentally, I was able to be with my client and resource them. I did apologize but came back into the present moment and was able to hold that with my client sooner than had I stayed in the past moment beating myself up.
There are other things from my time in EMBER I utilize as well, and depending on the client I might invite them to utilize a little yoga or movement as a resource to invite in a little more space or ease. Just the other day, I was telling someone that I do not see my clients as broken. It was the second conversation this past week I had along those lines. [This is central to the EMBER framework.]
I feel these things make a difference for my clients and they make a difference in my practice. The story my client shared is similar to other stories I have heard from other clients. I tell my husband at least once a week that my brain is baffled because I am not sure how people do therapy work and are so un-trauma informed. Now as I think back on my learning, I have a bit more compassion and less judgement as these were not principles that I learned in school. Some of my additional training may have touched on them a bit but not to the extent that you did in EMBER. When I realized how deeply rooted these principles were, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and a desire to share that gratitude with you. I am so very grateful to have had the privilege to be your student and learn from you.
Though I cannot look you in the eyes for you to see a tear well up and my face warm because what is in my heart is so strong and you cannot hear the excitement in my voice and the joy expressed on my face as I share about what I learned or see the sorrow in my eyes or maybe even see the weight I feel for my client's experience and the experiences of so many others, and can only convey in words the hope I feel in my heart because I know many mental health professionals attended your classes and I have met many wonderful people who do practice these things.... I am so very grateful! Thank you so much for all you have given me.
I hope you continue to share EMBER with many others. I feel the skills I learned were invaluable and are very needed.
